going HOME

Ketika pergi ke Jakarta hanya dengan 1 travel bag dan 1 ransel laptop, aku bilang sama orang rumah : “Yang penting nyari tempat dulu, bawa seadanya, 1 bulan lagi aku pulang ngambil sisa barang.” Nyatanya, 5 bulan berlalu dengan sangat cepat tanpa ada kesempatan yang pas buat pulang. Akhirnya momen libur panjang Lebaran ini jadi momen yang sangat ditunggu. Bukan masalah ngambil barangnya, tapi oh my, aku ngga nyangka bisa sekangen ini sama si kota kelahiran dan seisinya.

Then, here comes my first mudik! :D Agak-agak kurang taktis masalah nyari tiketnya, maklum newbie. Untungnya sih masih terkendali, meski pengaturan waktunya jadi agak di luar rencana : pulang terlalu mepet dan balik terlalu awal, kegampar harga tuslah pula. Tapi ya sudahlah, masih untung bisa dapet moda transportasi yang ngga perlu desak-desakan seperti yang di tipi-tipi itu. Tahun-tahun berikutnya harus lebih disiapin lagi.

Long story short, aku sampai di Semarang. Ikut Lebaran yang tanggal 31 Agustus, bukan yang tanggal 30. Masalah perbedaan, itu tak apa. Yang pasti, Lebaran tahun ini aku merasa “naik kelas” dibanding tahun sebelumnya. “Naik kelas” dalam hal manajemen mulut, hati dan perbuatan menghadapi segala macam family affair itu. Meskipun masih ada hal-hal yang di luar kendaliku, but I think I already did the right thing. Aku menikmati lebaran ini, dengan segala drama yang ada di dalamnya.

Pun, aku sempat bertemu beberapa teman yang kurindukan, duduk ngobrol di teras bersama eyang sambil melakukan kegiatan pertukangan, berkeliling penjuru kota dengan si motor kesayangan, tidur sambil memeluk buntelan bulu kuning yang menenangkan, berbaring dalam kamar sambil mendengarkan alunan tadarus di malam takbiran. Momen pulang ini rasanya bikin aku recharged. Hangat.

Ada yang kurang? Ada sih.

Yang dulu ada di setiap kegiatan yang kusebut di atas, secara fisik atau dengan penghantar teknologi. Karena kota ini selalu membuatku rindu padamu. Kamu. Ya, kamu. Tempat pulangku.      

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#kemudianhening

Ah, apapun itu, Alhamdulillah atas segala nikmatmu Ya Allah.
Semoga kami masih bisa bertemu Ramadan dan Idul Fitri tahun-tahun berikutnya.

Selamat lebaran dan liburan semuanya!

before HOLIDAY

Heya there. Random thoughts aja nih, nyempet2in nulis sambil nyelesaiin kerjaan beberapa hari kedepan, sebelum kantor libur lebaran. Hooray. Tapi tetep siaran sih...

First of all, mau cerita : I slept for couple of minutes when i watched THE EXPENDABLES. Yes it's a wham bam kinda movie indeed, with bunch of muscle man, rough talk, weaponry, explosion, suicidal mission, blood, scattered body parts, dangerous stunt, car chasing... you name it. EXCEPT one well-written screenplay. It's such a waste putting Jet Li, Bruce Willis, let alone Mickey Rourke in this movie. Seriously Mr. Stallone, you don't have to push yourself, took all those job : producer, director and actor, like you're still in your golden age. You are not. I even found it scary when you sporting those muscles, at your sixties, AND have a young lady as a fling in this movie. By the way, do you.. err have a facelift? Or any lip-job? Because if you do, you better sue the surgeon.

But there's NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MAN as the antidote. Best picture for Oscar 2007 really has its quality. And Javierrrr Barrdemhhrrrr. Though he got silly haircut there, he did one helluva good job. And that weapon he use? The captive bolt pistol? No projectiles. No ricochet. So deadly. So match with his sosiopathic hitman character.

*exhale*
And above everything : I'm anxious. No, nothing to do with the movies. It's another thing in my mind : Why is she called me only when she's in need? how can I pull a happy face and positive thought, having this thing happens over and over again? *sob*

Oh well. Enough speak gibberish. Now I have to pack my bag and heading somewhere else.

See ya around folks.
Happy mudik. Happy holiday.

SOKKER sien

Beberapa hari ini nonton bola bareng sang eyang. Cuma berdua, ikut mengamini beliau yang 'misuh-misuh'in pemain (it was soooo him :)) atau ngomentarin behind the scene tim ini dan itu. Well i don't really know too much detail, but i like to see people playing football. Or futsal. Because of the dynamics and how everything happened in field could be all the thing that matters. Apalagi World Cup taun ini sedikit mengikuti, jadi bisalah jadi partner 'misuh-misuh' :)

Dan sepertinya eyangku itu memang butuh companion buat nonton bola. Teringat jaman dulu, di masa kecilku, aku melihat beliau dan 4 omku, semuanya so into the soccer. Eyangku adalah seorang ayah yang membawa keempat anaknya ke lapangan dan berhasil menularkan excitement bermain sepakbola kepada mereka. Dan dalam ingatan masa kecilku, ada sebuah sekuen tentang betapa antusiasnya eyang dan om-omku itu saat menonton bola. Ya seperti lazimnya pria-pria yang nonton bola : berisik dan ngomel-ngomel kalo ngeliat blunder. Sementara sekarang, cuma ada mbak-mbak kos maniak sinetron, dan eyang putriku yang devoted sama Take Me/Him/whoever Out (seriously). Jadilah biasanya eyangku nonton bola sendirian, dan ngomel-ngomel sendirian. Ups maaf, mbak kosku ada yang nonton bola ding, tapi komentarnya biasanya ngga relevan : kalo ngga nyariin Cristiano Ronaldo, ya nyariin David Beckham. Pffhhh.

Kali ini, don't worry wahai eyang, ada saya, yang kalo ngga ada kegiatan lain, bakal 110% memilih nonton bola daripada Raam Punjabi atau Choky Sitohang.



pic courtesy :
Vladimir Rys/Bongarts/Getty Images via The Big Picture

UNBREAKABLE. Suppose.

I thought, this moment could put us altogether. I'm wrong. They prefer to stand that madness. Madness that happened for decades.

Maybe for them I know nothing. I'm too young to understand.

But one thing I know for sure...
... word 'young' doesn't equal indifference.

illimitées

.
Katanya : kesabaran itu tidak terbatas.


What would you be, if your suppose-to-be-the-most-supporting-people degrading you? Saying bad things about you? Discomfort you? I still trying to figure what will I be. Because I'm living with those people, since the early phase of my life. Very early. Certain people from my closest environment.

It was tough. With them, I can't find myself fit on anything. For them, I was just so wrong. Even if I didn't do anything wrong. They said, my 'existence' was a mistake. The 'existence' runs in my genes. The 'existence' I can't change.

Maybe I could be as bad as they said. I could make their big-bad-ass-picture of me come true. It was soooo easy. But I won't. Why should I? It wasn't me. It was a wrong charges. But they just don't care.

Their eyes are blinded.
Their ears were closed.
Their lips speak whatever pleased their own.

And that wasn't the only one. This sort of thing also happens in other aspects of my life. That people often got me wrong. Once, twice, three times, four times... I can't recall. I live with it. Breath with it. If this is the consequence, then it's a consequence of the things I didn't even do. Maybe I am. But not most of it.

However, I still put this little smile time to time.
Live the life.
And won't talking trash.





Because people may get me wrong.
But The Boss of The Universe does not.
.

Dua dua Desember

.
Ditengah-tengah pencarian eksistensi diriku sebagai seorang manusia, seorang teman, seorang penyiar, seorang sahabat, seorang tetangga, seorang scriptwriter, seorang survival ditengah hidup yang ingar bingar; terselip juga keberadaanku sebagai...

... seorang anak dari 2 ibu yang luar biasa.




Ibuku.
Whatever it takes, you ARE my mom, my incredible mom.
Nothing, no one, can take it from you.

Eyang putriku. Almarhumah.
I would be nothing without you.
I miss you. I do.








Semoga saya bisa jadi anak yang baik.
Yang bisa membanggakan mereka semua.
Mereka, yang mencintai saya.


So, My Boss of the Universe,
would You please take care of them?
Please?
I beg You?.
.

October 23rd, right away

Hari ini hari ulang tahunnya ibuku.

Aku tinggal terpisah dari ibuku. Dan rasanya udah bertaun-taun I'm not showed up exactly right at her birthday. Selalu berselang satu atau dua hari. Percayalah, aku ngga pernah bermaksud buat sengaja nelat-nelatin. There's a reason I should keep for myself.. and God for sure.

Nah, tahun ini aku bertekad buat datang tepat waktu and bring some simple gift. Yah, biarpun lagi resesi karena belom gajian, but there must be something meaningful but not so pricey out there :)

So, this morning I woke up earlier then came to her house. Ngasi selamat, ngasi kado (plus versi minionnya buat adek-adekku), then had a lil chat. Soal kadonya, i wish could give her better. Yahh, apa boleh buat :) Tapi ngga papa ya.. At least anakmu ini sedang berusaha menjadi lebih baik lagi. Untukmu. Untuk semua orang. Untuk dirinya sendiri. Amiin.

Selamat ulang tahun ya bu... Wish you all the superb thing in the world.